Who are you?
A white man with a gun
Black man on the ground,
Fear in his eyes,
A speckle of hope in his heart.
I swear they’re up!
Who are you?
The officer who feared his life.
The man whose family will never see his smile again.
They said to be afraid.
Who are you?
I’m the black man who your parents always said to get away from..
Who are you!
I’m just a human trying to live another day.
Will you let me?
This sign off started off as another poem. This was a revisal to another poem I posted earlier in the semester, but after thinking about this piece and thinking about whether or not this was something that I really wanted to sign off on and one night I got an idea. I got my laptop and just kept writing.
That night I wrote like the words just couldn't stop coming out of me and this is where my fiction story of Lost Myself came about. This was a piece that I was just so excited to have written, and I just couldn't believe that I did it. It isn't a finished piece, but you have to start somewhere!
I've written a few short stories here and there, but this was the first time that I really wanted to show these two chapters to someone, and where better than in this class where our ideas are respected and your pieces matter? I was nervous, don't get me wrong, but I don't think there was a better place to get feedback then this class.
For this sign off I got comments from both Professor Whitestone and our TA, so I really took in what they said to heart and thankfully I was great feedback!
- Professor Sara Whitestone:
You can absolutely sign this off right now. But I'm going to tell you a few things to think about as you work on this into the future. We've all seen rape scenes on TV or read them in books. What makes this one stand apart from any of those others? Why should we care about your character? What gives her the fortitude to resist his attack? I'd like to see much more character development through story before you get here. This scene might need to be much further into your novel. I want to feel something for your character. So give me an affinity to her somehow. Anyway, this is just something to think about. I hope you will continue working on this story in Zuluaga's fiction class!
- Sunayana Limbu (TA):
Wow. Once I started reading your fiction story, I really couldn't stop! I absolutely love this and I think you are ready to sign this off. However, I did notice a few spelling errors here and there. Like Professor Whitestone said, I would also like to see the development of your character in your story. I want to know more about this character, perhaps something interesting about her? I suggest you to read the chapters once again and correct any grammatical errors. :) Overall, I loved your work! Congrats!
Lost Myself by Stephanie Calderon