Reflection of My Goal and Action Plan from Part II:

In Part II of this three-part series, I stated that my long term academic/professional goal is "to graduate from John Jay College's Forensic Psychology BA/MA Program with a focus in Victimology by June 2020."

Observing the time stamp put in place for the completion of this goal, I, of course, was not able to achieve it by the time of this reflection. However, I have remained on-track in accordance with completing most of the smaller goals I set for myself.

While the action plan steps reflect the management of my time over strategically-spaced intervals, it didn't always look that way. Though I initially didn't want to reflect on my rearrangement of the shorter-term goals I implemented for myself, I now recognize that that is an honest and true reflection of the triumphs and obstacles I experienced throughout this semester.

For summary purposes, my action plan resembles that of a chronological checklist, illustrating my journey of application to the Forensic Psychology BA/MA Program. Originally, the steps I had in place only revolved around the completion of just the BA/MA application in a one-month time frame. I didn't allot myself much time to complete all of the necessary components for the application in an outstanding way, meaning the short amount of time I gave myself really wasn't realistic in terms of perfecting each piece that could inevitably open the door to my future. In addition, it's clear to me now that when I initially planned out my steps to success, I didn't take into consideration the fact that other obligations - either relating to classes or work - would become overwhelming.

That realization really struck as I read over my original plan while I was preparing for the 1st Annual ePortfolio Showcase. I saw myself as a failure. I saw all the little goals that I hadn't accomplished and immediately felt discouraged. I didn't think about what actually caused me to put these action steps on the back-burner; rather, I put myself down for not trying to stick to my plan hard enough.

I was fearful of others seeing me as I saw myself in that moment, so before the showcase, I asked Nancy if I could change it. When I received the approval to do so, I went to work. Expanding my time-frame was the first order of business. Other assignments did take precedence. The final due date for the BA/MA application was extended three months. Those two things really impacted the first set of shorter-term goals. The following quotation is an accurate description of my mindset during the beginning of the semester: "If the application isn't due until June, why should I stress about it now, especially when I have x, y, and z to complete for upcoming classes..."

In addition to the expanded time-frame, I added a few tasks outside of the BA/MA application. I included my application to the Psi Chi Honor Society, as well as my drafted research proposal - that although it will be used as a writing sample for BA/MA, it is actually an assignment for one of my classes this semester. In accordance with this fact, the "April 20th" due date set for my professor to review the first draft of the proposal was an official due date for the class itself (so that definitely helped me stay on track for that particular goal)!

I was able to complete some of the early goals, such as Psi Chi application submission and the completion of the majority of the BA/MA application.

The personal statement for the BA/MA application was particularly challenging throughout this semester. I knew from the start what I wanted to write about...or I thought I did. I received plenty of harsh criticism on my first few drafts that I decided it was time to stop going in circles...because honestly, that's what it felt like. I attended a personal statement writing workshop that was facilitated by a representative from the Pre-Law Institute. Throughout the exercises she introduced during the seminar, I felt more inspired than I had been. I spoke to her after she dismissed us, and there was an instant mentorship that was formed which was incredible. She, being someone who reviews personal statements for students seeking acceptance into law school, encouraged me to take the path I originally set out on - the path that was critiqued so harshly. The drafts I spoke about in the action plan represent those I made after this workshop; those I made during the whole revision of the action plan.

So, I did just that. I scrapped everything because it wasn't me; I wasn't happy with it. One morning, I locked myself in one of the research labs that I work in, and I poured my heart out into this statement. Was the first draft really the first draft? No, no it wasn't. But it was the first draft of a statement I actually loved. Was the draft completed when I wanted to complete it? No...and the reason is because I couldn't rush it. What I was talking about in this new statement couldn't be rushed. And honestly, it's okay I didn't hit the deadline I set for myself because I was super proud of it - proud of the time and effort I spent into making sure every feeling I had was conveyed through powerful and vivid words.  

Professor Harris, the amazing woman who led that personal statement workshop, didn't get back to me right away about reviewing it. So, in order to stay somewhat on track, I decided to reach out to my faculty mentor, Dr. Stone, who also happens to be the professor who reviews PhD candidates' personal statements. I figured if I can get mine past him, I can get it past anyone. He almost immediately responded and took the time to provide me with constructive criticism that helped me make it even better. After the wonderful feedback from him, I sent it to Professor Harris, who I have a meeting with on the 16th of May! Despite not technically following the action plan in terms of self-implemented due dates, I think the personal statement aspect turned out rather nicely.

The research proposal, on the other hand, is far from completion. The draft has a lot of notes to be addressed, and even though I wanted to begin revisions by the first week in May, other assignments, again, took precedence. I regret not attempting to at least begin editing because now the class due date is approaching quite rapidly, and I'm feeling bombarded with tons of other papers - the stress just continues to rise.

What I do know for sure is that the final goal I listed in my action plan will be completed in the time that I said it would:

"By the end of May, I would like to have completed and submitted my BA/MA application for the Fall 2017 semester."

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Advice for Students:

Reflecting on this journey, I can't believe I forgot about a quote that projects so much strength and power. A quote that inspired me when I first heard it. A quote I heard from a woman who embodies what it means to be successful in every aspect of the word.

"Let your setback be a set-up for your comeback."

This quote was heard at the Women In Leadership Conference back in October 2016.

As stated earlier, I let my setbacks define me. I let them take control over my mindset. I let them discourage me. The setbacks were actually justified, since they were in part due to pressing tasks that needed to be done. I can't get into the BA/MA Program if I don't present outstanding grades for this semester. So, yes, the application itself needed to be put aside because I needed that time to focus on assignments due much sooner and with much greater consequence if not completed. However, I didn't acknowledge this until later on.

Remember that your setbacks happen or happened for a reason, but don't let them paralyze you and prevent you from taking the next steps.

And it's okay to go off-course and to give yourself more time to develop certain ideas, etc. That isn't a setback. It's recognition of what quality is; of what you're proud of. Giving yourself more time to make sure something is perfect is a comeback in and of itself. That's a level of maturity: being able to step back and say, "I need more time to make this right."

Lastly, try different techniques to help keep you motivated. Sometimes procrastination can get the better of us, but with an end goal in mind (such as making someone close to you proud or graduating college with a high GPA) and various methods to explore, you regain that power procrastination seemingly takes away from you.

Within my revised action plan, I listed accountability and the Pomodoro Method (originally they weren't listed as being part of my plan). Accountability has definitely worked for me. Not only do those I have asked to hold me accountable check in on me daily, but they also sit with me and actively encourage me to start my work. Having that encouragement sit right there with me has only proven to be beneficial.

The Pomodoro Method, on the other hand, is actually a time budgeting technique. Often, when I begin a task, I become so immersed in it that I continue to work on it until it's done. That's generally what the Pomodoro Method encourages. I tried using it - really for that initial push to even get started on certain assignments - and it's outcome has been exactly what it was designed for. It definitely worked with my personal statement writing.

~ Overall, do what's best for you, and remember: "Learn from the past, look to the future, but live in the present." -- Petra Nemcova