Frances Johnson

If you asked anyone who knows me, they would say: “that girl is always laughing!!! Sometimes there isn’t even a joke to be told.” It’s true, laughing is one of the many pleasures in my life. I laugh and smile as much as I can (even on my bad days) because I believe the sight of someone else’s happiness will make others happy.  Good energy brings better energy and I LOVE good energy.     If I was asked to describe myself I’d say I’m adventurous, free spirited, self loving and.. phenomenal. Four sentences in and I have yet to say my name. I guess I should have started with that. My name is Frances (yes with an “e” not an “i”), but the only people who actually call me by my birthname are the ones who have not fully gotten the chance to know me. All my close friends and family come up with a nickname for me; the names are usually clever, catchy or flat out weird, but ALWAYS unique.   As far as my upbringing is concerned.. well let's just put it this way: I've lived in New York City all my life, but if you get to know me you could swear I was raised in the south. This probably had a lot to do with my very old-school southern grandparents who raised me. Growing up in my home, the girls were taught to keep the house in order and the boys were taught to make sure there was always a house to be kept in order. I was always the child to ask questions: why can’t I be the one to bring the money in?  Why can’t the boys cook? Why do I have to be dependent on a man? Why can’t the boys stay at home and clean? All these questions got the same answer: “cause we said so, now stop asking questions.” As you can already tell, that was not a good enough answer. By the age of thirteen, I had told myself I would never be dependent on a man. I am strong and independent and if anything, a man will have to depend on me! This mindset has only gotten stronger as I grew older. The Gender Studies courses I have taken at John Jay have only enhanced my thought process when it comes to sex, gender, and the odd roles society enforces on the two.

Gender Neutrality is basically the disappearance of gender roles in order to ignore society’s discrimination and gender norming. Many people in society are afraid of gender neutrality, not because it won’t work but because they are afraid of disrupting their norms. The world we live in makes young boy and girls feel they need to act or dress a certain way to be considered “normal,” but there has been a new trend with parents raising their children gender neutral.

In “Pink Scare: What’s behind the Media Panic about ‘Princess Boys,” Avital Norman Nathman (2011) challenges gender roles in today’s society. She tells the story of her son, Elijah, and his gender neutral politics. Nathman argues that “completely unwittingly, Elijah has been eschewing gender stereotypes almost his entire four years of life, and I couldn't be prouder” (2011).  As a parent, Nathman did not conform to the “normal” way of raising a child and praises Sarah Manley and her son who chose to dress up as Daphne from Scooby-Doo. It was not other kids who questioned Manley's son’s costume, but their mothers who do not want change the young boys’ connections to hegemonic masculinity.

It has always been easier for society to accept a girl “acting like a boy” but not a boy “acting like a girl.” Manley (2011) argues that

"if my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.” We praise girls as confident if they show a more “masculine” side, but when a boy shows even a little of what society calls "femininity," they are bashed and called harsh names. Kids are not born with thoughts of hegemonic masculinity; they are taught it by their parents, their surroundings, and even by the shows they watch. Most young boys’ minds are corrupted at an early age--- they are taught to not show emotion, not to be sensitive, because if they are they will be seen as less than a man; they will be seen as a “sissy” or “bitch” or worst they will be seen as a “girl.” Hegemonic masculinity is also disrespectful to females in making them seem like they are the weaker sex just because of what is in between their legs. Expressions of love, compassion, and sensitivity all feelings we are all born with and are not a sign of weakness for any gender identity.

Gender neutrality sounds like such an amazing concept, but it is nowhere near. Society is so hell bent on sticking to the “norms” that as soon as someone even steps out of the box even a little, that person is looked at as strange or wrong. Why it is so hard for a boy to be able to wear a dress and still say he is straight? There is no rule that

says dresses are just for females. Before the 20th century females never wore pants, but then that norm was challenged and now in this day and age no one looks twice at girl in jeans. I think the first step in gender neutral world is being open minded, not conforming. Teach the younger ones to do, be, and wear what they want instead of teaching them the arbitrary rules of what society says is wrong.

Nathman, A.N. (2011, August 18). Pink Scare: What's Behind The Media Panic About "Princess Boys"?